About Us

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Carrie MIllsap

I have loved the Lord for as long as I can remember. Some of my earliest memories of faith involve a Nazarene pastor who was anointed to share the Gospel and truth. Every Sunday he would do an altar call and every Sunday I would go up to the altar in repentance, even as a little girl. However, my childhood church experience was very much one of “hellfire and brimstone” and my relationship with the Lord was defined by fear, reverence, and necessity. My childhood home was violent and unstable, and the pain of my upbringing led me to find comfort in the arms of the Lord. However, it wasn’t until I was in my late forties that I was fully freed from the bondage of the trauma and heartache that I experienced as a young girl.
[expander_maker id="1" more="Read more" less="Close"]

As I grew into a teenager and young adult, I never forgot the feeling that Jesus was my only hope and lifeline. I never felt the need to rebel or act out despite my chaotic childhood - I truly just wanted to bring people to Christ. However, my adherence to the Great Commission was not born out of an outpouring of joy, it was almost a militant love for Jesus. I was “on mission” all the time. I was blessed with opportunities to lead my group of high school friends to the Lord, and they still serve Jesus to this day, but it became very clear to me during this time period that there was a darkness and deep pain rooted inside my heart. Despite a true and genuine devotion to the way of Jesus, I constantly felt like I was living a double life because there was so much turmoil inside of my spirit as I shared about the freedom found in Jesus.

After high school, I went to a Christian college and felt that it would be an opportunity to work through this dark side of myself that I didn’t quite understand - it was a chance to put myself together and truly become the upbeat and joyful Christian I so longed to be.

I quickly realized that I did not fit in, and found myself getting along better with the non-believers than I did with the believers. While this gave me opportunities to witness to people, the enemy used it to reinforce the idea that I was an “imposter” Christian who was not as worthy as my fellow believers.

One night, one of my friends prayed over me in my dorm room, and I encountered the Holy Spirit in a miraculous way. I was slain in the Spirit and was transported in a vision. I saw myself walking on the roads of heaven with Jesus at my side, and He was speaking things to me that I don’t remember. What I do remember is Him telling me:

“You have walls around your heart and I am going to take them down. You do not need to protect yourself - I am your Protector.”

“You have been striving for your whole life. Striving to be loved, striving to be wanted, striving to be worthy. You do not have to strive any longer.”

I laid there for what could have been hours on the floor of my dorm room. When I woke up I felt that the words He had spoken to me were immediate and that I would no longer strive from that point forward. I did not realize that it would be many years before I saw this promise fulfilled as I struggled to navigate deep damage from my childhood, though this moment did mark the beginning of me coming to realize how broken I was.

Over the next few years of college I started unraveling. I became extreme in the things I did while attempting to gain control of my emotional imbalance - from running 70 plus miles a week to taking diuretics to lose weight. I started literally balding as I was losing all of my hair from physical and emotional stress. I tried to keep myself together but on the inside I was incredibly turbulent and lost.

I was having a full mental collapse, and decided to stop trying to pretend to be a “good Christian girl.” I completely rebelled (in my own way) and started drinking and going out to bars. I went home for Christmas and was fully bottoming out - I was so sick from alcohol poisoning that I had to lay in bed for 3 days once getting back home.

While back in Spokane, I ran into my now husband Brandon. He could see that I was completely distraught and repeatedly encouraged me to “just move home.” Brandon represented a total breath of fresh air for me at the time, but I only had one semester left of school and was determined to go back.

Once I was back at school I entered a full depressive state and realized that I couldn’t go on any longer. I had yet to realize that I had been traumatized in my childhood and was unequipped to navigate the emotional turmoil that constantly overwhelmed me. I decided to move home and finish my degree through correspondence with my professors.

I started dating Brandon and felt myself coming back to life. I still wasn’t serving the Lord with the intensity that I had in the past, but Brandon was showing me a life full of joy and fun without anger and pain. I felt that our marriage would be different and that we would have a different kind of life than what I had witnessed while growing up.

God did use our marriage and there was a lot of joy, but there was also an incredible amount of hardship. I felt like I was constantly having to push my husband past where he wanted to be spiritually and this lead me to feeling squelched. I believed I was unable to live how I truly wanted to so I began turning all my hope heavenward. I couldn’t grab hold of the truth that we could have victory here on earth and believed that I would permanently be under the boot of life.

I longed to go to heaven and be with the Lord because I believed that was the only place to truly find Jesus. This resulted in a sort of numbness to life and the desire to check out from reality. I loved my kids and my husband, but I consistently found myself using books to escape the knowledge that I wasn’t living the life I was called to because I had no idea how to get there.

In 2018 I felt conviction to stop reading books and cut out unhealthy distractions to create space to spend time with the Lord and cultivate an intimate relationship with Him. I started feeling again that there was a calling on my life, but I believed that it was motherhood and began rooting my identity in being a mom.

However, everything changed in March of 2019 when my little brother, Luke, showed up at my house talking about the miraculous works that God had done in his life. For years I had helplessly watched my brother and his family struggle and endure hardship that follows a life of sin. I never understood why I could live for the Lord but he couldn’t, until he shared his full testimony with me and learned about abuse that he had suffered that I never even knew about.

In the coming weeks, I witnessed Luke become an entirely new creation. He was radiant, kind, loving, and free - the total opposite of who he had been before. I knew that Brandon and I needed whatever miracle had touched my brother’s spirit. The Lord spoke to me that Brandon and I needed a period of separation for the Spirit to move, so I told my husband that we needed a sabbatical to pray and get lit on fire. He was not on board, and angrily packed his bag and left, but I was at peace knowing that this decision was God-ordained.

Over the course of the next week, I would spend long periods of time in worship. I would lay on the floor and God would just love on me. I knew that I was heard and completely loved. During this same time, the Lord was doing works in Brandon. After a week of separation the Lord told me it was time for Brandon to come home, and our marriage hasn’t been the same since. The Lord turned a hard and strained relationship into a force for the Kingdom, and put dreams in our hearts for our family’s role in the work He is doing.

The Lord has broken chains of fear off of me that have constrained me for my entire life, releasing me from the pain of my childhood and delivering me to a place of faith and intimate love with Him.[/expander_maker]

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Brandon MIllsap

I have been a believer for my entire life, but it took me fifty years to understand what it means to be a disciple of Jesus. Because I was raised in the church, I treated my knowledge of God and my relationship with Him as fixed. I allowed my faith to become stagnant because I took for granted the miracle-working God I served. I lived a life of obedience without surrender and duty without devotion. In April of 2019, the Lord came and got me from the shallow end and threw me into the depths of intimate relationship with Him, breaking off the chains that were weighing me down and allowing me to resurface as a new creation.
[expander_maker id="1" more="Read more" less="Close"]

Although I perceived myself as a good and godly husband, my marriage had been suffering for quite some time. On the evening of April 13th, my wife, Carrie, told me to pack a bag and leave. This was not the first time she had demanded this of me, but it was the first time I listened. Before I even knew what I was doing I had packed and driven to my parents’ house. It was freezing cold in their basement and I could not get the fire started despite my efforts, so I stood there shivering, humiliated, and filled with anger toward my wife.

Suddenly, the Lord stopped everything and spoke to me in a voice so clear and loud I can still hear it to this day. He said “Do you think Carrie made you leave? I made you leave. I have been trying to get your attention. I have been waiting for you. This is the time of your reckoning.”

I wish I could say that my heart shifted after hearing the audible voice of the Lord, but I still spent many days battling my flesh despite knowing in my spirit that the Lord was doing a work in me.

The next night, the Lord woke me up out of my sleep. I felt the Holy Spirit enter the room and started praying, and immediately the Holy Spirit took me to my wife’s bedside. The room was dark and I knew that she was surrounded by something, but I saw two angels come up on either side of me and post themselves by her bed. I looked down and saw myself covered in armor, and watched the Lord speak through my mouth, proclaiming “Satan, you have no realm here.” Instantly the room was lit up with a bright light, and the darkness vanished.

I felt the Lord impress on me that I needed to pray for Jen and Luke, my sister and brother-in-law. The Holy Spirit transported me to their bedside, and once again I saw that they were surrounded by darkness. The same two angels passed by me, posting themselves by Luke and Jen’s bedside. The Lord spoke through me once more, proclaiming “Satan, you have no realm here.” And once more the darkness vanished and the room was filled with a bright light.

Despite this miraculous vision, I was still battling my flesh. I had asked Carrie to allow me to come home and she refused me, so the anger in my heart continued to fester and prevented me from surrendering to the Lord’s will. I could not justify the fact that I had been uprooted from my home and humiliated. I was a good husband, and a good father. I had provided my wife and kids with a beautiful home and beautiful things, they wanted for nothing (or so I saw it). I had been faithful and true, and did my duty as her husband. I felt that she was the one who needed work she needed to stop spending so much money, she needed to be more grateful, she was the problem.  The Lord repeatedly showed me that I needed to take my attention off of Carrie’s failures and focus on my own, that He was trying to work on me and I needed to allow it to happen.

One night as I was brushing my teeth, the Holy Spirit stopped everything once more and I had a conversation with the Lord that changed me forever.

“Brandon, what do I ask of you?”

“You ask me to be the protector for my family.”

“No, I do not ask that of you.”

“You ask me to take care of my kids.”

“No, I do not ask that of you.”

“You ask me to provide for my family.”

“No, I do not ask that of you.”

“What do you ask of me Lord?”

“The only thing I ask of you is to be the spiritual leader of your family.”

Instantly I felt the chains fall off me and my burdens lifted. I knew that my life and heart were forever changed. A godly man is not called to be a protector or provider so much as he is called to be a servant.

On April 18th, I received my 3rd and final vision from the Lord. He showed me my wife being raised out of the ground, naked and vulnerable. I saw chains breaking off of Carrie as He lifted her out of grave, and I saw the same two angels come and stand next to my risen wife. I knew that we were about to witness a new beginning for our marriage, each of us restored and reborn.

On April 21st, I was reunited with my wife after 7 full days of experiencing the refining fire of the Lord. I came out cleansed and renewed, with a deeper understanding of the character of God. I learned that no matter how long we have been believers, no matter how many hours we spend in prayer, or fasting, or in the Word, there is always more to learn of God. He is a God of healing and miracles, and He moves on us and prepares blessings for us even before we are willing to surrender.

[/expander_maker]

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Brandon MIllsap

I have been a believer for my entire life, but it took me fifty years to understand what it means to be a disciple of Jesus. Because I was raised in the church, I treated my knowledge of God and my relationship with Him as fixed. I allowed my faith to become stagnant because I took for granted the miracle-working God I served. I lived a life of obedience without surrender and duty without devotion. In April of 2019, the Lord came and got me from the shallow end and threw me into the depths of intimate relationship with Him, breaking off the chains that were weighing me down and allowing me to resurface as a new creation.
[expander_maker id="1" more="Read more" less="Close"]

Although I perceived myself as a good and godly husband, my marriage had been suffering for quite some time. On the evening of April 13th, my wife, Carrie, told me to pack a bag and leave. This was not the first time she had demanded this of me, but it was the first time I listened. Before I even knew what I was doing I had packed and driven to my parents’ house. It was freezing cold in their basement and I could not get the fire started despite my efforts, so I stood there shivering, humiliated, and filled with anger toward my wife.

Suddenly, the Lord stopped everything and spoke to me in a voice so clear and loud I can still hear it to this day. He said “Do you think Carrie made you leave? I made you leave. I have been trying to get your attention. I have been waiting for you. This is the time of your reckoning.”

I wish I could say that my heart shifted after hearing the audible voice of the Lord, but I still spent many days battling my flesh despite knowing in my spirit that the Lord was doing a work in me.

The next night, the Lord woke me up out of my sleep. I felt the Holy Spirit enter the room and started praying, and immediately the Holy Spirit took me to my wife’s bedside. The room was dark and I knew that she was surrounded by something, but I saw two angels come up on either side of me and post themselves by her bed. I looked down and saw myself covered in armor, and watched the Lord speak through my mouth, proclaiming “Satan, you have no realm here.” Instantly the room was lit up with a bright light, and the darkness vanished.

I felt the Lord impress on me that I needed to pray for Jen and Luke, my sister and brother-in-law. The Holy Spirit transported me to their bedside, and once again I saw that they were surrounded by darkness. The same two angels passed by me, posting themselves by Luke and Jen’s bedside. The Lord spoke through me once more, proclaiming “Satan, you have no realm here.” And once more the darkness vanished and the room was filled with a bright light.

Despite this miraculous vision, I was still battling my flesh. I had asked Carrie to allow me to come home and she refused me, so the anger in my heart continued to fester and prevented me from surrendering to the Lord’s will. I could not justify the fact that I had been uprooted from my home and humiliated. I was a good husband, and a good father. I had provided my wife and kids with a beautiful home and beautiful things, they wanted for nothing (or so I saw it). I had been faithful and true, and did my duty as her husband. I felt that she was the one who needed work she needed to stop spending so much money, she needed to be more grateful, she was the problem.  The Lord repeatedly showed me that I needed to take my attention off of Carrie’s failures and focus on my own, that He was trying to work on me and I needed to allow it to happen.

One night as I was brushing my teeth, the Holy Spirit stopped everything once more and I had a conversation with the Lord that changed me forever.

“Brandon, what do I ask of you?”

“You ask me to be the protector for my family.”

“No, I do not ask that of you.”

“You ask me to take care of my kids.”

“No, I do not ask that of you.”

“You ask me to provide for my family.”

“No, I do not ask that of you.”

“What do you ask of me Lord?”

“The only thing I ask of you is to be the spiritual leader of your family.”

Instantly I felt the chains fall off me and my burdens lifted. I knew that my life and heart were forever changed. A godly man is not called to be a protector or provider so much as he is called to be a servant.

On April 18th, I received my 3rd and final vision from the Lord. He showed me my wife being raised out of the ground, naked and vulnerable. I saw chains breaking off of Carrie as He lifted her out of grave, and I saw the same two angels come and stand next to my risen wife. I knew that we were about to witness a new beginning for our marriage, each of us restored and reborn.

On April 21st, I was reunited with my wife after 7 full days of experiencing the refining fire of the Lord. I came out cleansed and renewed, with a deeper understanding of the character of God. I learned that no matter how long we have been believers, no matter how many hours we spend in prayer, or fasting, or in the Word, there is always more to learn of God. He is a God of healing and miracles, and He moves on us and prepares blessings for us even before we are willing to surrender.

 [/expander_maker]

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Jennifer Richey

I am a first generation Christian, having been raised in a worldly home without a faith (though with lots of love). My father was a very functional alcoholic, and I always felt that he chose alcohol over family, leading me to believe that I was not worthy of being chosen or pursued. I spent most of my life in deception, and a few years in complete darkness. My marriage and family were collapsing as I spiraled in the cycle of sin and shame when the Lord came and got me in March of 2019, radically redeeming me and infusing me with love and worth.
[expander_maker id="1" more="Read more" less="Close"]

I never knew Jesus as a girl - I remember asking my mom to take us to a church service one Mother’s Day, and attending a summer camp, but that was the extent of my faith experiences. I was raised with an alcoholic father, and I used my anger toward him to justify a lifestyle of partying and unhealthy behavior as an adolescent and young adult.

I met Luke, my husband, at a skydiving dropzone when I was 19, and instantly fell madly in love with him. I moved to Washington from California to be with him, beginning our now 20 year journey. Our relationship was passionate and intense from the beginning, and I remember saying to him “You’re kind of a jerk to people, but not to me!” Slowly this unkindness became directed at me, and I was caught between my genuine love for him and my fear of the mistreatment that I was already experiencing.

After about 6 months of dating, I found out I was pregnant. I realized that I did not want to raise a child with someone who had such a tendency toward anger and cruelty, so I called my dad to move me back down to California. I went to a clinic there and had an abortion, a decision that has resulted in much sorrow and grief over the last two decades. Though I had made the choice to abort our unborn child with the lie that I was protecting him/her from Luke, I still found myself wanting to be with him. I felt drawn to him and knew somewhere in my heart that we were meant to be together, despite all logic. I told my best friend one day that if I did decide to go back to Luke, it would be “all in” and I would marry him. About a week later I told Luke about the abortion I had hidden and we ultimately decided to get back together and I moved back to WA.

Very shortly after, I discovered I was pregnant with my daughter, Perris. I experienced spotting early on in my pregnancy, and I remember weeping in the bathroom thinking that I was going to lose this child as punishment for aborting the last. God was so gracious and gave me a beautiful baby girl a few months after Luke and I were married.

The first four years of our marriage were incredibly difficult, as Luke struggled with alcoholism and was constantly angry. There was a lot of yelling and verbal abuse, and a few instances of physical abuse. After one particularly horrific instance of abuse, I called the police after my mother-in-law encouraged me to get help and ensure my safety. Luke was so angry at me for calling the police, saying that involving the cops was a betrayal to him and our marriage. I became more and more isolated, trying to protect my husband from the judgment of others and walking on eggshells around his temper.

One day we were headed back from Mexico where Luke was drinking on the flight, and in the airport he aggressively pinned me up against a wall. I cried out for help from the airport security, and stayed in California with my family while Luke flew home to Spokane. While there he attended Promise Keepers, forgiving his violent and abusive father for the first time.

When I got home from California, I told Luke that he needed to stop drinking and I wouldn’t drink either in support of that. This was in 2006, but Luke did not officially become sober until 2007. We moved into a new house and I believed it would be a fresh start for our marriage and family. For a while it was fairly peaceful, we had fully stopped drinking and the abuse had subsided, though the anger and meanness was ever present. There were many times he lost his temper and became aggressive, and he was very controlling. I hardly had any friends for most of my marriage because I felt I couldn’t talk about my husband without incurring friends’ judgment or Luke’s temper.

This period of relative peace lasted for about 7 years, and then things slowly started to decline. I had always desperately wanted Luke’s approval, but I always felt that no matter what I did he wasn’t satisfied. I often wondered what was wrong with me that made Luke treat me with such unkindness - I knew that he loved me, but I truly believed he disliked me.

In an effort to get his attention and please him, I started dressing very provocatively. Luke positively reinforced this behavior by giving me the attention I was seeking, and I began dressing more and more promiscuously and did inappropriate modeling in the pursuit of feeling worthy of my husband.

We started drinking and partying again, and filling our lives with everything in Satan’s arsenal. We were fully immersed in a world of drugs, alcohol, and sex - every day we sank deeper into a dark and deviant way of life. It was an escape from our failing marriage, and rather than falling at the feet of Jesus we tried to medicate our own pain with every wicked distraction imaginable. I became a terrible version of myself; lying to myself, lying to people around me, hiding actions and behaviors.

In 2018, I remember having a conversation with my sister-in-law, Carrie, who told me that despite what my husband is doing, I was accountable to the Lord for my own behavior. I can still hear her clearly say “One day you will stand before the throne of the Father, stripped of everything and completely alone. Luke will not be next to you. What will you do then?” From that point forward I began feeling a strong desire to get out of the lifestyle I had been leading, but I felt that if I stopped drinking and doing drugs I would lose my husband.

However, in January of 2019 I officially decided to rid myself of the poison that had been consuming my life. Luke continued to drink and use drugs, going on benders that would last for days. I started to realize that I needed to leave him, but I was afraid of losing the family that I gained through my marriage. I was laying in bed wondering what to do and how I could maintain the relationships that were so important to me, and protect my kids from the pain of divorce, when I heard the audible voice of the Lord: “Fear is not why you should stay, Jen.”

I knew in that moment that my path was clear, and I was going to ask Luke for a divorce. I went to church the next morning and instantly when I walked in, I saw “Fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in Your love” written on the screen. I broke down in tears, and committed to standing in the love of the Father. I told my pastor’s wife that Luke and I were getting a divorce, and called my grandmother on the way home to tell her the same.

I got home from church and told Luke that it was over. I did not feel angry or chaotic, I remember being very at peace even though I was sad that my marriage was ending.

After Luke and I had agreed to separate, we had to take a business trip together. I didn’t want to talk about our relationship at all, and Luke actually respected that. When I woke up the next morning, Luke was sitting near me weeping. The Lord had shown him vision after vision throughout the night of the ways he had mistreated me and abused me for years, and though I

could tell that he was genuinely remorseful I still knew that we had reached the end of our road.

About a week after the separation there was a day of complete transformation in me after the full repentance for my actions and thoughts. It wasn’t me simply being sad or remorseful for my previous actions but it was a deep repulsion at the idea of some of the things I had done and ways I had acted. I know what it is like to walk in deception and fully and completely align with wicked ways.

Over the next few weeks, the Lord started working miracle after miracle in Luke. His behavior was like night and day, he was a completely renewed and changed man, but I was still reluctant to trust that the change was genuine and not a manipulation to get me back. I still refused to get back together and continued trying to navigate what life would be like without him.

The Lord would show Luke visions of the ways he wronged me, and Luke would text me and apologize, asking for forgiveness. Some of the memories that he brought up were moments that I had completely forgotten or suppressed, but the Lord knew that I needed healing for those specific wounds. Day after day Luke continued to prove that he was a changed man, that a miracle had occurred. I knew the Lord was speaking life back into our marriage and resurrecting our relationship as he resurrected us as individuals. Forty days after I told Luke I wanted a

divorce, the Holy Spirit prompted me to begin a new chapter of our marriage as reborn children of God.

Luke and I are completely changed people after our repentance and the renewal of our minds and spirits. Luke is kind and loving, and I am filled with worth and surety. Our marriage is thriving and our family has truly begun to heal because we surrendered everything to the Lord.

Our finances were in disarray after years of overspending and poor stewardship - we were about to lose our business and had to place our house on the market to get out of debt. Our children were angry and distant after years of pain, our daughter Perris had even run away from home and was living with friends. Through all this turmoil, we had a supernatural peace and an unwavering faith that the Lord held us in His hand. I now knew what it meant to walk in a valley but still have true joy in my heart. He continued to work miracles in our finances, in answering prayers, and in leading our children back to Him.

Forum12 is the icing on the cake of my story of redemption - not only do I get to walk with the Lord as a daughter, I get to partner with Him in this intricate vision that he poured out on our family. Thank you, Jesus!

[/expander_maker]

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Luke Richey

I was an enemy of God for 40 years. I grew up in a turbulent and violent home, experiencing every form of abuse from early childhood to adolescence. I was filled with anger and hate, and my teenage years were defined by violence and crime, from hacking and forgery to selling drugs. I identified as an outlaw and rebel in every sense, and worshiped the things of the world. I made lots of money, bought a house on the lake, and drove a nice car. Though I was successful by a worldly metric, I was completely empty - I genuinely hated people and viewed them as objects to manipulate and use for personal gain. In 2017, the Lord reached into the mud where I had made my home, pulled me out, and washed me clean.
[expander_maker id="1" more="Read more" less="Close"]

I always had a desire to be better but I could never get there. I studied every religion and all the sciences, searching for a “fix” for my broken mind, warped thought processes, and hateful spirit. I knew God existed and even believed in Jesus, but I actively resented them.

I was suicidal my entire life and ideated on it every day. I had no self worth and filled my life with a million false identities and extremes. Thousands of skydives, mixed marital arts, drugs, alcohol, sexual immorality, the worship of money, and anything that could possibly kill me without me taking my life myself. I still marvel at the number of near death experiences I had wrecking motorcycles, rolling cars, skydiving drunk and high. But the Lord always protected me and saved me for His purposes.

In late 2016 I had a pastor friend tell me I was going to lose everything to gain everything, and sure enough in 2017 it all started to collapse - my body, my marriage, my business, and my relationship with my kids. I had lost a lot of money many times and thought I could just rebuild whatever I lost. I kept living as an enemy of God, crawling deeper and deeper into sin and depravity.

In 2018, as my marriage and life continued to decline, I decided to kill myself while my wife was on a trip and my kids were staying elsewhere. Due to the injuries I sustained from the reckless life I had led, I had a lot of drugs in my house, both illegal and prescription. I took a full bottle of oxy, a full bottle of morphine, 8 Xanax, an 8 ball of cocaine, and washed it all down with an entire bottle of vodka. I pleaded with God not to send me to Hell. I wrote “f*** off” as my suicide note and laid down to die.

Some days later my wife returned from her trip. She pulled me by the arm out of bed onto the floor and said “What have you done?” I screamed and cursed God. I told him this was my choice…my choice to die and He had taken that from me.

Breaking the Spirit of Death - 2018

I went to church a few weeks later and the pastor's wife asked Jen and I to stay after service so she could give us a word that the Lord had for us. It is important to note nobody knew I had recently tried to take my life. She took us in a backroom and told me:

“God told me to tell you the manure of your life is the fertilizer He will use to grow generations.”

She placed her hand on my forehead and said: “In Jesus name spirit of death leave Luke!”

It felt like my brain was lit up and something like electricity ran through my mind. I walked out without saying a word but in the car I told my wife I could not find suicide - I could no longer ideate on all the ways to kill myself.

Months passed and I would tell my wife it was still gone. I realized a miracle had occurred. But I still hated myself and had no self worth. It was a strange place mentally.

Breaking the Spirit of Fear - 10/15/2018

I was a person who pretended to be fearless. All along I was afraid of just about everything.

I was in my room and laid down to sleep. My spirit separated from my body and I was floating above it. Everything was lit up in my room and the dimensions felt different. I was afraid and prayed “God if this is you keep going, if it is not then please make it stop.”

I moved up through my attic (which I had never seen until that day), and then above my roof, and then I was moving through the universe. I ended up in a place that was a planet of all atmosphere and clouds. I was flying through this place and came to a break in the clouds and saw the back of His head. I was paused there and as He started to turn His face towards me. I became so afraid I started to fall.

His hand caught me and He said audibly:

“Your fear is why you fall Luke.”

I was instantly no longer afraid. Then He said in my spirit that I would be with him for awhile there but I would not remember what He told me.I still could not look at Him but I remember coming alongside Him in the air.

I was then back in my body and woke my wife up to tell her what had happened. I knew something had changed but I was not sure what.

Instilling the Spirit of Love and Worth - 1/7/2019

This is a defining event in my life. It was my 46th birthday. I am leaving my body again as I lay in bed. I pray the same prayer as before, but this time I know it is Him. Again I shoot through the ceiling and through the universe. This time I am standing on a planet that is bright, with small stones all around me. The landscape is fairly barren and there is no color as it is washed out by the light. I felt like I was in an overexposed photograph. I look up and I see the clouds start to part like before with the back of His head. The light is even more blinding but I see Him start to turn. That same fear hits me so I turn away and raise my hand.

The light is so powerful, it is now shining through both my hands as I hold them up. I know it is God and I don’t want Him to look at me because then He will see what I am. The light starts to touch every particle in whatever kind of body I had and I could feel it. He said out loud:

“I love you, Luke.”

Instantly I knew that the light was love, and the love was Him. He spoke again, this time to my spirit:

“This is just a drop of my love, if I were to show you all my love it would destroy you because it reaches forever.”

In that same moment I knew He felt this way about all of us. I suddenly had worth, immense worth because the God of the Universe told me that I do.

I was back in my body again and told Jen what had happened. I was so excited to know what it felt like not to hate yourself.

However, every day was worse in our relationship. I had formed part of my identity in the idea of me and my wife as a power couple. I told her I would never forgive her for the things she had done, and that I no longer needed her because I had self worth. I took this amazing gift God had given me but was still so broken and selfish.

Repentance and Renewal - March 2019

March 10th: Jen asks me for a divorce. I agree and feel a sort of relief. We have damaged each other so immensely, and our 17 years of marriage were coming to an end. I packed a bag and went to stay at my parents’ house.

March 13th: I am laying in bed and I have a waking vision of the first day of my honeymoon with Jen. I see some of the evil things I said to her that day, and then over the course of the entire night I relive every wrong I have done to her, and every revenge I perpetrated. By about 6 AM it was done. I laid down, and for the first time I wept for someone other than myself.

March 14th: I begin reading my Bible every night.

March 16th:  I repent for an entire night, crying out to God for hours on hours. I am living at my mom’s while she is on a trip to Israel. I didn’t know that at the same time I was repenting, she and my dad (not biological but my dad) were placing prayers in the prayer wall for me; nor did I know that my pedophile grandpa had just died, breaking chains of generational trauma over our family. I also did not know that this same night my wife was repenting.

I sleep for an hour and wake up changed. I wake up alive. I feel like I am the same person, but with a new brain. I notice that people look different, and I have the ability to love them. I see people that I know in a new light. Even colors looked different! I knew I had been born again.

I tell Jen that day that no matter what happens I will be kind from this day forward, though I don't believe our marriage will be saved as the damage was too deep on both sides.

March 17th:  I am laying in bed and I hear the Lord audibly say:

“I am healing 40 years of pain in 40 days.”

Forty days from when I left home and moved into my parents’ house would be April 18th. I continue reading every day - I realize being Christlike to my wife translates to everyone.

March 22nd: I drive to my sister Carrie’s house to tell her everything that has happened to me. I share my entire testimony. We cry together. At this point she is the only one who believes that something has changed in me. Everyone else thinks it is a manipulation to get Jen back. I hear His voice while driving home:

“Healing is coming for your whole family.”

I am still broken though because I don't think my wife and I will ever be together again, but I know I wouldn’t trade what I have now, even for her. The most important thing to me was no longer Jen, but Jesus. I even tell Jen that.

April 18th: Over the course of the next month God refines me and renews my mind and spirit. I write Jen every night asking for forgiveness for all the things God has shown to me. On April 18th, a day that Jen did not know, she asked me to come back home. The unrestorable restored by Jesus.

Restoration - April 2019-Present

Over the next year revival sweeps through our family, and healing starts to occur in everyone, from cousins to in-laws. He starts healing and I spend every day praying and reading. He isn’t even done with that promise yet either!

We have prayer and worship nights as a family and God keeps teaching me all kinds of things, like surrendering everything to Him.

The response to COVID and the closure of businesses and churches leads us to spend countless hours together as a family. We start asking “why?” as a family. Why did God rescue us so miraculously? What is His purpose for us?

Then He starts to reveal “the why” to my sister through dreams. He is using our family for the coming revival and the billion soul harvest. In further dreams, He delivered us new technologies and a way to spread the Gospel and testimonies to all nations and all peoples, a methodology that can not be censored or interrupted. This will be our life’s work - it is the reason He rescued us so profoundly and the purpose that He gave us.

There is way more to our testimony, this is highly abridged! There continue to be so many miracles I have to keep a journal. God is always and only good![/expander_maker]

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Luke Richey

I was an enemy of God for 40 years. I grew up in a turbulent and violent home, experiencing every form of abuse from early childhood to adolescence. I was filled with anger and hate, and my teenage years were defined by violence and crime, from hacking and forgery to selling drugs. I identified as an outlaw and rebel in every sense, and worshiped the things of the world. I made lots of money, bought a house on the lake, and drove a nice car. Though I was successful by a worldly metric, I was completely empty - I genuinely hated people and viewed them as objects to manipulate and use for personal gain. In 2017, the Lord reached into the mud where I had made my home, pulled me out, and washed me clean.
[expander_maker id="1" more="Read more" less="Close"]

I always had a desire to be better but I could never get there. I studied every religion and all the sciences, searching for a “fix” for my broken mind, warped thought processes, and hateful spirit. I knew God existed and even believed in Jesus, but I actively resented them.

I was suicidal my entire life and ideated on it every day. I had no self worth and filled my life with a million false identities and extremes. Thousands of skydives, mixed marital arts, drugs, alcohol, sexual immorality, the worship of money, and anything that could possibly kill me without me taking my life myself. I still marvel at the number of near death experiences I had wrecking motorcycles, rolling cars, skydiving drunk and high. But the Lord always protected me and saved me for His purposes.

In late 2016 I had a pastor friend tell me I was going to lose everything to gain everything, and sure enough in 2017 it all started to collapse - my body, my marriage, my business, and my relationship with my kids. I had lost a lot of money many times and thought I could just rebuild whatever I lost. I kept living as an enemy of God, crawling deeper and deeper into sin and depravity.

In 2018, as my marriage and life continued to decline, I decided to kill myself while my wife was on a trip and my kids were staying elsewhere. Due to the injuries I sustained from the reckless life I had led, I had a lot of drugs in my house, both illegal and prescription. I took a full bottle of oxy, a full bottle of morphine, 8 Xanax, an 8 ball of cocaine, and washed it all down with an entire bottle of vodka. I pleaded with God not to send me to Hell. I wrote “f*** off” as my suicide note and laid down to die.

Some days later my wife returned from her trip. She pulled me by the arm out of bed onto the floor and said “What have you done?” I screamed and cursed God. I told him this was my choice…my choice to die and He had taken that from me.

Breaking the Spirit of Death - 2018

I went to church a few weeks later and the pastor's wife asked Jen and I to stay after service so she could give us a word that the Lord had for us. It is important to note nobody knew I had recently tried to take my life. She took us in a backroom and told me:

“God told me to tell you the manure of your life is the fertilizer He will use to grow generations.”

She placed her hand on my forehead and said: “In Jesus name spirit of death leave Luke!”

It felt like my brain was lit up and something like electricity ran through my mind. I walked out without saying a word but in the car I told my wife I could not find suicide - I could no longer ideate on all the ways to kill myself.

Months passed and I would tell my wife it was still gone. I realized a miracle had occurred. But I still hated myself and had no self worth. It was a strange place mentally.

Breaking the Spirit of Fear - 10/15/2018

I was a person who pretended to be fearless. All along I was afraid of just about everything.

I was in my room and laid down to sleep. My spirit separated from my body and I was floating above it. Everything was lit up in my room and the dimensions felt different. I was afraid and prayed “God if this is you keep going, if it is not then please make it stop.”

I moved up through my attic (which I had never seen until that day), and then above my roof, and then I was moving through the universe. I ended up in a place that was a planet of all atmosphere and clouds. I was flying through this place and came to a break in the clouds and saw the back of His head. I was paused there and as He started to turn His face towards me. I became so afraid I started to fall.

His hand caught me and He said audibly:

“Your fear is why you fall Luke.”

I was instantly no longer afraid. Then He said in my spirit that I would be with him for awhile there but I would not remember what He told me.I still could not look at Him but I remember coming alongside Him in the air.

I was then back in my body and woke my wife up to tell her what had happened. I knew something had changed but I was not sure what.

Instilling the Spirit of Love and Worth - 1/7/2019

This is a defining event in my life. It was my 46th birthday. I am leaving my body again as I lay in bed. I pray the same prayer as before, but this time I know it is Him. Again I shoot through the ceiling and through the universe. This time I am standing on a planet that is bright, with small stones all around me. The landscape is fairly barren and there is no color as it is washed out by the light. I felt like I was in an overexposed photograph. I look up and I see the clouds start to part like before with the back of His head. The light is even more blinding but I see Him start to turn. That same fear hits me so I turn away and raise my hand.

The light is so powerful, it is now shining through both my hands as I hold them up. I know it is God and I don’t want Him to look at me because then He will see what I am. The light starts to touch every particle in whatever kind of body I had and I could feel it. He said out loud:

“I love you, Luke.”

Instantly I knew that the light was love, and the love was Him. He spoke again, this time to my spirit:

“This is just a drop of my love, if I were to show you all my love it would destroy you because it reaches forever.”

In that same moment I knew He felt this way about all of us. I suddenly had worth, immense worth because the God of the Universe told me that I do.

I was back in my body again and told Jen what had happened. I was so excited to know what it felt like not to hate yourself.

However, every day was worse in our relationship. I had formed part of my identity in the idea of me and my wife as a power couple. I told her I would never forgive her for the things she had done, and that I no longer needed her because I had self worth. I took this amazing gift God had given me but was still so broken and selfish.

Repentance and Renewal - March 2019

March 10th: Jen asks me for a divorce. I agree and feel a sort of relief. We have damaged each other so immensely, and our 17 years of marriage were coming to an end. I packed a bag and went to stay at my parents’ house.

March 13th: I am laying in bed and I have a waking vision of the first day of my honeymoon with Jen. I see some of the evil things I said to her that day, and then over the course of the entire night I relive every wrong I have done to her, and every revenge I perpetrated. By about 6 AM it was done. I laid down, and for the first time I wept for someone other than myself.

March 14th: I begin reading my Bible every night.

March 16th:  I repent for an entire night, crying out to God for hours on hours. I am living at my mom’s while she is on a trip to Israel. I didn’t know that at the same time I was repenting, she and my dad (not biological but my dad) were placing prayers in the prayer wall for me; nor did I know that my pedophile grandpa had just died, breaking chains of generational trauma over our family. I also did not know that this same night my wife was repenting.

I sleep for an hour and wake up changed. I wake up alive. I feel like I am the same person, but with a new brain. I notice that people look different, and I have the ability to love them. I see people that I know in a new light. Even colors looked different! I knew I had been born again.

I tell Jen that day that no matter what happens I will be kind from this day forward, though I don't believe our marriage will be saved as the damage was too deep on both sides.

March 17th:  I am laying in bed and I hear the Lord audibly say:

“I am healing 40 years of pain in 40 days.”

Forty days from when I left home and moved into my parents’ house would be April 18th. I continue reading every day - I realize being Christlike to my wife translates to everyone.

March 22nd: I drive to my sister Carrie’s house to tell her everything that has happened to me. I share my entire testimony. We cry together. At this point she is the only one who believes that something has changed in me. Everyone else thinks it is a manipulation to get Jen back. I hear His voice while driving home:

“Healing is coming for your whole family.”

I am still broken though because I don't think my wife and I will ever be together again, but I know I wouldn’t trade what I have now, even for her. The most important thing to me was no longer Jen, but Jesus. I even tell Jen that.

April 18th: Over the course of the next month God refines me and renews my mind and spirit. I write Jen every night asking for forgiveness for all the things God has shown to me. On April 18th, a day that Jen did not know, she asked me to come back home. The unrestorable restored by Jesus.

Restoration - April 2019-Present

Over the next year revival sweeps through our family, and healing starts to occur in everyone, from cousins to in-laws. He starts healing and I spend every day praying and reading. He isn’t even done with that promise yet either!

We have prayer and worship nights as a family and God keeps teaching me all kinds of things, like surrendering everything to Him.

The response to COVID and the closure of businesses and churches leads us to spend countless hours together as a family. We start asking “why?” as a family. Why did God rescue us so miraculously? What is His purpose for us?

Then He starts to reveal “the why” to my sister through dreams. He is using our family for the coming revival and the billion soul harvest. In further dreams, He delivered us new technologies and a way to spread the Gospel and testimonies to all nations and all peoples, a methodology that can not be censored or interrupted. This will be our life’s work - it is the reason He rescued us so profoundly and the purpose that He gave us.

There is way more to our testimony, this is highly abridged! There continue to be so many miracles I have to keep a journal. God is always and only good!

[/expander_maker]

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Luke began coding software at the age of 14 and created many successful startups up till 2009. In November of 2009...

[/et_pb_team_member][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_4" _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_team_member name="Jennifer Richey" position="Co-Founder" image_url="https://carbon12dev.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/jennifer-richey.webp" linkedin_url="https://www.linkedin.com/in/richeyjennifer/" _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" header_font="|||on|||||" header_text_align="center" header_text_color="#FFFFFF" border_radii_image="on|150px|150px|150px|150px" global_colors_info="{}"]

Jennifer has been in the technology sector since 2002. She was the CFO of Tometa Software, a custom software development...

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Carrie Millsap, along with her husband Brandon, is a serial entrepreneur creating a number of successful companies...

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Brandon Millsap, along with his wife Carrie, is a serial entrepreneur creating a number of successful companies in the real estate and...

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Sonny is a seasoned sales & marketing executive with 10+ years of experience as a marketing and sales leader...

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Abby has a Bachelors of Arts in Sociology and Criminal Justice from Eastern Washington University...

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Jason has a background in helping businesses grow, generating $50mil+ in revenue over the last 10+ years. ..

[/et_pb_team_member][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_4" _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure="1_4,1_4,1_4,1_4" disabled_on="on|on|on" _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" disabled="on" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_column type="1_4" _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_blurb title="Carrie MIllsap" image="https://carbon12dev.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/carrie-millsap.webp" alt="Carrie Millsap | Carbon12" _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" header_font="|||on|||||" header_text_align="center" header_text_color="#FFFFFF" body_text_align="left" body_font_size="1em" border_radii_image="on|150px|150px|150px|150px" global_colors_info="{}"]

Carrie Millsap, along with her husband Brandon, is a serial entrepreneur creating a number of successful companies in the real estate and landscaping industries...

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Brandon Millsap, along with his wife Carrie, is a serial entrepreneur creating a number of successful companies in the real estate and landscaping industries...

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Jennifer has been in the technology sector since 2002. She was the CFO of Tometa Software, a custom software development company that was acquired...

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Carbon12 brings individuals & projects together that desire to increase their financial freedom and independence while also having a positive social impact through proven projects around the world.

The $C12 ecosystem provides an ability to transact in a common currency, make money long-term as a valuable asset and through staking rewards, and also use-cases as a form of authentication in a new Augmented Reality (AR) decentralized social network called HolARgram.

$C12 builds community by ensuring that all free people can own their own assets, make money from them, transact with one another regardless of what is happening in the world, and support social causes around the world with a proven mechanism of maximum impact.

We are a crypto project focused on helping to support the basic tenets of individuals around the world: social, political, and economic empowerment. We are individuals, businesses, and organizations working in collaboration ensuring the future of Web3 is supporting these tenets.

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Luke began coding software at the age of 14 and created many successful startups up till 2009. In November of 2009...

[/et_pb_team_member][et_pb_button button_url="@[email protected][email protected]" button_text="View My Profile!" button_alignment="center" _builder_version="4.17.6" _dynamic_attributes="button_url" _module_preset="default" custom_button="on" button_text_size="1.25em" button_bg_use_color_gradient="on" button_bg_color_gradient_direction="118.27deg" button_bg_color_gradient_stops="#f05020 0%|#f9bb48 100%" button_border_width="0px" button_border_radius="5px" button_font="PetalaPro|600||on|||||" button_use_icon="off" custom_padding="10px|36px|10px|36px|true|true" locked="off" global_colors_info="{}"][/et_pb_button][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_4" _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_team_member name="Jennifer Richey" position="Co-Founder" image_url="https://carbon12dev.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/jennifer-richey.webp" linkedin_url="https://www.linkedin.com/in/richeyjennifer/" _builder_version="4.17.6" _dynamic_attributes="link_option_url" _module_preset="default" header_font="|||on|||||" header_text_align="center" header_text_color="#FFFFFF" link_option_url="@[email protected][email protected]" border_radii_image="on|150px|150px|150px|150px" global_colors_info="{}"]

Jennifer has been in the technology sector since 2002. She was the CFO of Tometa Software, a custom software development...

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Carrie Millsap, along with her husband Brandon, is a serial entrepreneur creating a number of successful companies...

[/et_pb_team_member][et_pb_button button_url="@[email protected][email protected]" button_text="View My Profile!" button_alignment="center" _builder_version="4.17.6" _dynamic_attributes="button_url" _module_preset="default" custom_button="on" button_text_size="1.25em" button_bg_use_color_gradient="on" button_bg_color_gradient_direction="118.27deg" button_bg_color_gradient_stops="#f05020 0%|#f9bb48 100%" button_border_width="0px" button_border_radius="5px" button_font="PetalaPro|600||on|||||" button_use_icon="off" custom_padding="10px|36px|10px|36px|true|true" locked="off" global_colors_info="{}"][/et_pb_button][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_4" _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_team_member name="Brandon Millsap" position="Co-Founder" image_url="https://carbon12dev.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/brandon-millsap.webp" _builder_version="4.17.6" _dynamic_attributes="link_option_url" _module_preset="default" header_font="|||on|||||" header_text_align="center" header_text_color="#FFFFFF" link_option_url="@[email protected][email protected]" border_radii_image="on|150px|150px|150px|150px" global_colors_info="{}"]

Brandon Millsap, along with his wife Carrie, is a serial entrepreneur creating a number of successful companies in the real estate and...

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Sonny is a seasoned sales & marketing executive with 10+ years of experience as a marketing and sales leader...

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Abby has a Bachelors of Arts in Sociology and Criminal Justice from Eastern Washington University...

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Jason has a background in helping businesses grow, generating $50mil+ in revenue over the last 10+ years. ..

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Chris Adam brings design to the next level creating brilliant user experiences that champion the vision, empower the users, communicate important brand value.

[/et_pb_team_member][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_column type="4_4" _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_text _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" header_2_font="|||on|||||" header_2_text_color="#FFFFFF" header_2_font_size="3em" header_2_font_size_tablet="2em" header_2_font_size_phone="1.75em" header_2_font_size_last_edited="on|desktop" global_colors_info="{}"]

Join us in our community

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" text_font_size="1.25em" header_2_font="|||on|||||" header_2_text_color="#FFFFFF" header_2_font_size="3em" text_font_size_tablet="1.15em" text_font_size_phone="1em" text_font_size_last_edited="on|phone" header_2_font_size_tablet="2em" header_2_font_size_phone="1.75em" header_2_font_size_last_edited="on|desktop" global_colors_info="{}"]Economic and social freedom is for everyone, and Web3 solutions like the $C12 token will enable individuals and organizations to engage in commerce, get access to privacy-preserving communities, hold long-term assets that combat inflation, and so much more.

Get your $C12 tokens and join our community now![/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure="1_2,1_2" _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_column type="1_2" _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_button button_url="@[email protected][email protected]" button_text="Purchase $C12 Tokens" button_alignment="center" _builder_version="4.17.6" _dynamic_attributes="button_url" _module_preset="default" custom_button="on" button_text_size="1.25em" button_bg_use_color_gradient="on" button_bg_color_gradient_direction="118.27deg" button_bg_color_gradient_stops="#f05020 0%|#f9bb48 100%" button_border_width="0px" button_border_radius="5px" button_font="PetalaPro|600||on|||||" button_use_icon="off" custom_padding="10px|36px|10px|36px|true|true" global_colors_info="{}"][/et_pb_button][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_2" _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_button button_url="@[email protected][email protected]" button_text="Join Our $C12 Communities" button_alignment="center" _builder_version="4.17.6" _dynamic_attributes="button_url" _module_preset="default" custom_button="on" button_text_size="1.25em" button_bg_use_color_gradient="on" button_bg_color_gradient_direction="118.27deg" button_bg_color_gradient_stops="#f05020 0%|#f9bb48 100%" button_border_width="0px" button_border_radius="5px" button_font="PetalaPro|600||on|||||" button_use_icon="off" custom_padding="10px|36px|10px|36px|true|true" global_colors_info="{}"][/et_pb_button][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built="1" _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" background_color="RGBA(255,255,255,0)" max_width="50%" da_disable_devices="off|off|off" global_module="796" collapsed="off" global_colors_info="{}" da_is_popup="off" da_exit_intent="off" da_has_close="on" da_alt_close="off" da_dark_close="off" da_not_modal="on" da_is_singular="off" da_with_loader="off" da_has_shadow="on"][et_pb_row _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_column type="4_4" _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_code _builder_version="4.17.6" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][/et_pb_code][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]